In the Fields by Aster Willow

Author:Aster, Willow [Aster, Willow]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2013-09-07T12:00:00+00:00

THE MILES BACK to Tulma are endless. Driving to Memphis, I’d driven as fast as I could go, knowing the sooner I saw her, the sooner I’d be complete. I’d eavesdropped on Caroline’s mom when I saw that she was back in town and heard her tell one of the other tellers at the bank that she’d been to Memphis. I was glad that her plans must have changed about San Antonio, otherwise, I could have been searching for Caroline forever. I immediately went home and told Mama that I needed to go find her in Memphis. Caroline needed to know about Leroy and Les, and she needed to be back home. I would bring her back home and we’d be happy.

I couldn’t believe it when I spotted their car in front of the motel. I looked inside and saw one of Caroline’s pencils—she likes to write in her journal with pink pencils—and knew I’d found her. I didn’t even have to wait long before I saw her crossing the street toward me.

I’m still in shock that everything went so wrong. When Caroline left Tulma, I thought I’d die from the heartache. It was nothing compared to what I feel now.

Now I think I really won’t ever see her again and the thought fills me with such panic and despair, I briefly consider driving off a bridge somewhere and ending my misery. The thought that I just have to find her again spurs me on. I can’t give up.

The nights we spent together were better than anything I could have imagined. Her silky skin, her beautiful hair, her mouth. Her love staring back at me. God, I love her more than life. She is my life. I don’t think I can live without her. The lump in my throat feels permanently lodged, choking the life right out of me.

I pound on the steering wheel. I never dreamed she’d leave. After finally feeling like we were going to survive, she’d given up. Searching all over Memphis, hours of driving through the streets surrounding the motel—I even went back in the restaurant and demanded to know if she’d been back in there. They threw me out and threatened to call the police, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to find her.

The note is crumpled and smoothed back out. It sits on the seat next to me. I stare at it with contempt and try to be mad at Caroline. But I can’t. I know what she did was out of love. After all, I did the same thing to her not too long ago. But I will pay for that mistake for the rest of my life.

I have to find her and make her see that we can’t fight it any more. We deserve a chance like anyone else.

When I pull into my driveway, Mama runs out and without a word, she hugs me and helps me inside. It feels like I’m sleepwalking into the house. She prepares hot milk with butter and honey, but I can’t touch it.

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